Bella Luna

Posted on March 20, 2010

You would like the space your guts used to occupy in your torso to be patched up.

Your insides are shivering.

You have nothing. No words. No thoughts. Just the rain.

Just the sickening snap and the loss and the filthy complication of life unrequited.

Just the abstraction of reality.

Reality, even? The entire concept… foreign.

There is a busted lock, a broken ladder on a fire escape, a blown fuse, and a drowning girl. (Reality.)

This is death and life and hope for life after death.

This is skipping and running and leaping and crashing and bleeding and stitches.

This is the post-infernal smolder fed only by the air and nothing left to burn.

This is punched in the guts. Hard. Again and again and again. This is the dull ache that follows…

This is the point of no return. (This is the point, obviously…)

These are the bony fingers belonging to goblins beckoning from the shadows. Tempting and taunting…

This is your funeral now.

Organ music plays in 40-second loops. It blasts forth through the crummy speakers of a dual cassette recorder which was considered ‘top of the line’ in the 80’s. There are no mourners. There are no tears. There are a handful of celebrants gathered in one corner.

They seem rather unaffected.

This is you…not really blaming them.

(This is having so very far to go. This is feeling completely unable to begin at all.)

The water is seeping and dripping through the windows of the space and all you can do is stare with glassy, bloodshot eyes at an inconsequential point in the darkness, surrounded by nothing in particular.

You attempt to predict the patterns of the ferocious gusts of ¬†wind. As if such a thing were possible. Still you try…

The rain lashes obscenities against the windowpanes and you just listen. You are empty.

Tabula Rasa (?)

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1 Comment so far
  1. Ally March 20, 2010 12:24 pm

    Hey! Im not trying to spam your blog but honestly you remind me of a friend of mine in many ways:
    mehreenkasana.wordpress.com

    I don’t know why but its true :s

    Kind Regards,
    Ally

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