Archive for the ‘ Marinate on This...’ Category

Bella Luna

Posted on March 20, 2010

You would like the space your guts used to occupy in your torso to be patched up.

Your insides are shivering.

You have nothing. No words. No thoughts. Just the rain.

Just the sickening snap and the loss and the filthy complication of life unrequited.

Just the abstraction of reality.

Reality, even? The entire concept… foreign.

There is a busted lock, a broken ladder on a fire escape, a blown fuse, and a drowning girl. (Reality.)

This is death and life and hope for life after death.

This is skipping and running and leaping and crashing and bleeding and stitches.

This is the post-infernal smolder fed only by the air and nothing left to burn.

This is punched in the guts. Hard. Again and again and again. This is the dull ache that follows…

This is the point of no return. (This is the point, obviously…)

These are the bony fingers belonging to goblins beckoning from the shadows. Tempting and taunting…

This is your funeral now.

Organ music plays in 40-second loops. It blasts forth through the crummy speakers of a dual cassette recorder which was considered ‘top of the line’ in the 80’s. There are no mourners. There are no tears. There are a handful of celebrants gathered in one corner.

They seem rather unaffected.

This is you…not really blaming them.

(This is having so very far to go. This is feeling completely unable to begin at all.)

The water is seeping and dripping through the windows of the space and all you can do is stare with glassy, bloodshot eyes at an inconsequential point in the darkness, surrounded by nothing in particular.

You attempt to predict the patterns of the ferocious gusts of  wind. As if such a thing were possible. Still you try…

The rain lashes obscenities against the windowpanes and you just listen. You are empty.

Tabula Rasa (?)

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Marinate On This…

Posted on April 1, 2009

Take the time to let it seep in...

Take the time to let it seep in...

I’ve never been much for subtlety…

“In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man’s proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours.”  Ayn Rand

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Marinate On This…

Posted on February 11, 2009

Take the time to let it seep in...

Take the time to let it seep in...

“As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment.” ~John Steinbeck

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Marinate on This…

Posted on January 26, 2009

Take the time to let it all seep in...

Take the time to let it all seep in...

Today, these feel so strikingly beautiful to me…

“Yes! You are the ruin–the ruin–the ruin–of me. I have no resources in myself, I have no confidence in myself, I have no government of myself when you are near me or in my thoughts. And you are always in my thoughts now. I have never been quit of you since I first saw you. Oh, that was a wretched day for me! That was a wretched, miserable day!” ~“Our Mutual Friend” Charles Dickens

“What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”~ Chuck Palahniuk

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Introducing: “Marinate on This…”

Posted on January 13, 2009

Take the time to let it seep in...

Take the time to let it seep in...

“Axel,” replied the Professor with perfect coolness, “our situation is almost desperate; but there are some chances of deliverance, and it is these that I am considering. If at every instant we may perish, so at every instant we may be saved. Let us then be prepared to seize upon the smallest advantage.” ~Jules Verne    “Journey to the Center of the Earth”

Alternatively…

“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

I shall allow you, sweet reader, to determine on which side of the above marination, the Girl sits…

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