Posts Tagged ‘ Unpopular opinions’

The Girl has Very Poor Bedside Manner…

Posted on January 19, 2009

Great Wall of Girl

Great Wall of Girl

I think I am the friend that I’ve always needed and wanted but never had. Or something that doesn’t make me sound completely egotistical and self-righteous.
I will now (obviously) clarify.

But first, a parable…

There was once a couple (let’s call them “Water”) who were friendly with another couple (we’ll call them “Earth”.) The Water people had long been allies of Gentleman Earth, and were delighted when he found his Lady. Spring had sprung and love seemed to blossom exactly as it should (no cynical sarcasm here AT ALL.)
But just as the Earth had rotated round the Sun nearly three full times, the temperature started to change. It was almost imperceptible at first, but the Earth was cooling. Sometimes, things are a wee bit clearer from the Water. Sadly, Lady Earth seemed not to acknowledge this change. Unwilling? Unable? Hard to say.
But, the fact remained that the environment was quickly becoming inhospitable. The Water people opted to “Judge not, lest…” (you get it) and remain loyal to all in a nod toward blissful ignorance. They hoped to pretend that they didn’t see it. That they didn’t always know what a smooth operator Gentle Earth could be…
Sometimes Water people don’t like to make waves.

And now the Lady tearfully reveals her torrid tale of perfect love gone wrong. She describes all he said. All he didn’t say. What she suspects. What she knows. What she hopes.
Therein lies the problem. There is no “hope.”
And being one of the only people in her life who is a known associate of both parties in equal measure, I feel it necessary to tell her so.
For this Lady is one of those people who has many “close” friends. She has plenty (read: too many) girl friends in her life who will lend a sympathetic ear and reassure her that he “loves her more than anything” and that this was a “blip”, “a bump in the road”, a “phase”, or some other such nonsense.
“There’s no hope.” I state. “He’s not in love with you anymore.” “Your goals have completely diverged and you would be best to wrap this shit up and seek that which is closer to what YOU want.”
OK, so I didn’t say it EXACTLY like that, but that was the Cliffs Notes version.
I am simply stating the truth, with hope that she’ll acknowledge that which she most assuredly already knows somewhere deep within.
Further, I have a deep and abiding love for Gentleman Earth. He’s an ass, perhaps. But he is my friend and I adore him. If there were even an inkling within me, which stated that he wanted this “thing” with them to continue, I’d have played the role. But he doesn’t and I didn’t. I felt that my tough love approach was appropriate, if not easily digestible.

This is but one example in a growing file, of recent instances where I have felt the need to call a situation out as exactly what it is. Or at least how I see it to be. Even when the parties involved are seeking something else entirely.
It’s like this facet of me that I am reluctant to put a cap on. I’m not being deviant to make an impression. I don’t do it to cause friction. As I’ve previously mentioned, more times than not, I’ll opt out of opining aloud at all. Deaf ears are challenging to converse with.
But perhaps, when impassioned about a topic, I hope to offer options. The option to flip the script. The option to pinch the power from the source and redirect the current.

Please understand that I am the product of the liberal mafia. No one ever told me what to do.  Ever. Which is all well and good towards creating a “strong” “self-reliant” young adult, but is there not worth in guidance? I’ve broken up with more than one therapist based on the principle that if I am paying you $200 an hour, the least you can do is not answer a direct question with another question.

If the old adage about “that which we do not like in others being exactly what we grapple with within ourselves” is to be believed, then I think my “harsh” nature is completely justified.
Perhaps, at times, my own moral compass could’ve used a few verbal recalibrations. Maybe I’d have done well to know that others cared enough to tell me when I was out of line.  To know that “arrogant” and “self-assured” don’t exactly live in the same place. Or even in the same neighborhood.
I think on some level, I try to tell those closest to me what I think they need to hear instead of what they want to hear, because I was never given a definitive solution. I never had anyone else to blame or credit for my choices or their outcomes.

So here I am. Staid in my unpopular opinions. Encouraging Others to act decisively and with great confidence. Attempting to do for them, that which I seem unable to do for myself. It is a flaw in mankind as a whole, to be sure… this need to be correct. To act only when victory is assured. To chill in the transition until construction of the next phase is complete and seemingly move-in ready. Trouble is, it will never be complete. For the most part, we must be open to the idea of movement with expectation and even excitement regarding the unknown.  Of finding beauty in the undefined and strange.
I’m getting there.

“And I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not be seen
And I’ll hide away for another day…” ~ Zero 7 “In the Waiting Line”

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Erroneous Analysis and the Plight of the Dead Poet

Posted on November 25, 2008

Has she grown or has the room shrunk?

Has she grown or has the room shrunk?

The Spouse and I have long argued the value of literary analysis. Whereas I relish the opportunity to dig between the lines in search of message that I am supposed to learn, or find the motivation and beauty in the most tragically flawed characters, he believes that this practice is expository at best, pompous and self-righteous at worst.

As it turns out, I am both pompous and completely self-righteous.

My 11th grade AP English teacher would encourage us to express any idea that we may have while discussing literature. No matter how ludicrous, she believed there was intrinsic value in exposing all possibilities. Value in possibility. Value in ideas. No matter how unpopular. Besides, dead poets can’t tell you how far off base you are.

Live humans are different than dead poets. They are able to tell you your situational analysis is wrong, but should they?

I am currently believing that even when we are terribly far from understanding the writers truth, if we’ve read the shadows when they really wanted us to read the lines, perhaps the work has actually still succeeded?

Maybe it has taken on its life and affected its reader exactly as it should have, if not strictly as intended. After all, words, as art, no longer belong to the artist upon release into the larger universe.

Still, it always helps to have a free thinking teacher encourage continuance of your discourse, for the most pompous and self-righteous among us are almost always the most insecure, as well.

March Hare: …Then you should say what you mean.
Alice: I do; at least - at least I mean what I say — that’s the same thing, you know.
Hatter: Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that, ‘I see what I eat’ is the same as ‘I eat what I see’!
March Hare: You might just as well say, that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I like”!
The Dormouse: You might just as well say, that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe”!

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Just Sayin’

Posted on September 4, 2008

I dig John McCain and all, but his did his awkward wave during Sarah Palin’s acceptance speech seem scarily Papal to anyone else?

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Conversations From the Lunch Table

Posted on September 2, 2008

It is the first day back at work from a long and lazy holiday weekend. The normally hectic pace round the Ad Agency which houses my office, seems just a smidge sluggish and reflective of the general reluctance to hop back into normalcy cold turkey. The lunch table in the kitchen area is far more crowded than is typical on a Tuesday and it’s six or so inhabitants seem to linger despite their empty take-out boxes. The conversation is lively and covers a variety of topics from boozy weekend escapades to the Gossip Girl premier. Then it turns to politics. And even from my desk, I sense a palpable change in the air. With no thought that there could POSSIBLY be any among them with differing opinions, the initiators of the dialogue openly chide McCain and his Vice Presidential pick. Bolstered by the news that very-Pro Life Sarah Palin’s daughter has apparently gotten pregnant and dropped out of high school, the Conservative detractors are overjoyed and reveling in the misfortune (how un-Liberal!)
The part that struck me was not the anti-Republican sentiment (I live in NYC, for crying out loud) but the seeming complete lack of awareness that there might be Others lurking. Others with a slightly more moderate take on the situation. And moreover that we Others are so locked in the political closet because of our industry, geographic location, age group and other social factors that not one of us (and I have it on solid authority that there were at LEAST four of us present) said a word. No one piped up, no one played devil’s advocate, no one dared incite debate. Too risky. We mustn’t create waves. We will not be tolerated. We will be ejected from the premises immediately, and asked not to return.
This seems extreme but it’s actually not far from the truth. In this day and age of Political Correct-ness, when did shunning an entire faction of the populous, become socially and morally acceptable?

In the very accurate words of The View’s Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “It seems to be that you can only have one opinion in this country right now.”

On a separate but related note, I do think it’s rad that Barack Obama chose John McCain (read- comforting old, white dude) as his running mate and John McCain chose Hilary Clinton (read- polarizing young, white woman) as his.

I do hereby invite John McCain, Sarah Palin, Ms. Palin's daughter and her unborn child to lunch. We will speak freely and scoot over should anyone else choose to join... even if they have differing viewpoints.

I do hereby invite John McCain, Sarah Palin, Ms. Palin's daughter and her unborn child to lunch. We will speak freely and scoot over should anyone else choose to join... even if they have differing viewpoints.

Filed Under The GOP | Leave a Comment

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